Monday, January 7, 2008

I Made the Call

I called DSS to find out more information about adoption through the foster care system. I can't say that I came away terribly encouraged. The average age of children in foster is 10 years old. If there are children under 3, they are more than likely in a sibling group with a brother or sister in their early teens.

I don't know what I was thinking, why I was optimistic that this might be a place for me to look for an infant. I guess because there is such a demand for infants, that most are placed through private adoption, which is also a possibility I need to explore. I know that international adoption is way out of my price range, but I have heard from friends that domestic adoption -- while still pricey -- may be something I can afford.

And of course, all of this is moot if the doctors and the specialists and the sperm and my eggs all do what they are supposed. Which of course means that I need to stop stressing and obsessing, because that's not doing my body any good, right?

Maybe I should make an appointment for a massage before the procedure this weekend. (I have acupuncture on Thursday -- they couldn't get me in on Friday.) But then do I really have an extra $100 to blow on a massage -- will I then stress about that as well?

This is what I do to myself, I over-analyze things, over think them to death. When what I really need to do is take a deep breath, close the computer, go upstairs and take a nice long, hot shower, and crawl into bed for will hopefully be a better night's sleep than last night.

*Sigh* ....it will all work out. I just need to keep repeating it and believing it.

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