Foster Care Class, Revisited

I finished week 5 of 11 this morning. It seems to be getting easier. Last week, I stayed after class and spoke with the social workers, sharing my feelings about not having sympathy for the birth parents. They didn't seem to mind, especially given that I want to adopt and won't have to work in partnership with the parents on reunifying the family.

So having had that conversation, going into class this morning was much easier. I even opened up to the class about it when it was appropriate in the conversation. My voice quivered, my eyes watered, but everyone seemed really supportive.

Some people have dropped out and I like the core group of people that we have left. My favorites -- Jason and Jason, a gay couple who are looking to do foster care but eventually want to adopt; Terry and Jennifer, another gay couple, who after my disclosure about my infertility struggles, shared that they had been trying to get pregnant as well and want to adopt; and Rebecca and Mark, a middle-aged couple with teenagers, who seem like they would be the "cool" parents.

I feel a new freedom about it, not worrying about the feelings I have towards the birth parents, worrying that this is a waste of everyone's time for me to be there, worrying about this and that. Today, I didn't worry, and I was back to myself, back to making comments and sharing, joining in, even volunteering for one of the activities.

And even if I don't need to have my baby this way -- the hormones have already bloated me up to a four-months-pregnant belly...I'll take it, it means they are working -- I'm learning good parenting skills, I being exposed to lots of things that I might not otherwise be exposed to, and learning is always a good thing.